Monday, April 28, 2008
Today at exactly 11:59am you turn five. I keep looking at you, trying to take in everything. Your smooth skin and long legs. Your big brown eyes and long eyelashes. Your freckles and your smile. I feel like I'm trying to capture you, to hold you somehow and stop time, so I never forget you as you are right now in this moment.
5 years ago right now you were about 3 hrs from being born. I was in the most intense pain of my life. I was at the very end of a long exhausting labor. I think of that pain now and see only the beauty in it. I think the pain left an imprint that filled in later with memories of all the beauty in your birth. I see the sweat and tears and devotion and love and work it took to bring you to us. I remember that final push and seeing you and holding you for the very first time. I hope you will always know that that feeling and moment will always be with me.
Today you are a fun, emotional, caring little guy. You are passionate and smart and intense. You are loving an imaginative. Sometimes when I look at you now it's like that first time, with amazement and wonder. I see magic in you Jack. I see God in you. I see you like that first moment five years ago, pure beauty and love and I am amazed.