Monday, September 08, 2008
Control, It's an issue. I control myself, my food, my weight, the time I spend, where I go. I try to control the people in my life as well. Sounds fun huh? I'm learning though that the tighter I control, the more out of control things get. I feel less in control. More anxious. Less relaxed. Do you feel that? I know lots of women are "control freaks". Is it fear? Fear of things not going our way? All I know is that all this control is getting me farther away from the person I want to be. Fun, care free, Free, happy, relaxed. "Let Go", that's what's been suggested. So I tried it this weekend and it didn't work. I tried to relax around food and couldn't. I tried to "let go" to relax and trust that not being in control would make my life better. I'll keep trying. I'll keep trying for my kids, so they won't hate me when they grow up, and my husband so he won't hate me now. I'll keep trying for myself, cause life is short and I do want to enjoy it.