Wednesday, July 23, 2008
Saturday I had a long coffee break. A five hour coffee break. John took over and I stepped out. I walked and peeked in and out of antique stores and book shops. When I finally sat down three hours later I found myself in a big comfy leather couch with a large coffee on the side table beside me. I didn't read or write or try and look or be occupied. I sat and watched. In the stillness, for quite awhile I sat in negative thoughts, I let myself sink into that chair and be overwhelmed with my life, with what my life is not. And I sat and felt sorry for myself for not being the person I really hoped I would be by now. I have a tendency to drift to the negative if I give myself free reign. Anyway, so finally I sort of snapped myself out of it and took a deep breath and told myself to just stop. Really, I said it out loud."Just stop it". Me and my coffee and my big comfy chair settled in together and I started enjoying the solitude, and the people walking in and out, and the sunlight streaming in. I took a coffee break from my crap and enjoyed the rest of my time out.