Monday, June 02, 2008
I had a melt down this weekend. A sitting on the floor, locked in the bathroom, elbows on knees, face buried in my hands crying kind of melt down. I needed a break in the worst way. John was home, and I felt like a wimp for saying I needed to get out of there for awhile. Like I should be able to handle day after day, night after night continuous kid time with no break, no time alone that didn't include running errands and grocery shopping. So anyway John pulled me out of the bathroom and kicked me out of the house ( in a nice way). So a little bit later all puffy eyed I sat on a bench in the town square eating a sandwich, sitting in the sun barefooted reading Jack London. Nice. So I had time to think too. And I think my problem is that I have been wanting to make time to do somethings for myself lately and haven't really made it happen. So I've edged my way to bitterness and blame and frustration. Here's what I came up with.
-Practice the guitar every day or night for 10-15 minutes. Bring it out everyday so the kids can look at it and get used to it so they won't bombard me every time they see it.
-Pray everyday. I'm not talking about the little prayers said throughout the day for sanity or patience or a margarita delivery at my door :). I'm talking the kind where I can talk, and think, and really pray for my family and friends. I've felt this need and pull for awhile but just haven't made time.
So that's it. I'll keep you posted.