Monday, June 02, 2008

Time Out

time out
I had a melt down this weekend. A sitting on the floor, locked in the bathroom, elbows on knees, face buried in my hands crying kind of melt down. I needed a break in the worst way. John was home, and I felt like a wimp for saying I needed to get out of there for awhile. Like I should be able to handle day after day, night after night continuous kid time with no break, no time alone that didn't include running errands and grocery shopping. So anyway John pulled me out of the bathroom and kicked me out of the house ( in a nice way). So a little bit later all puffy eyed I sat on a bench in the town square eating a sandwich, sitting in the sun barefooted reading Jack London. Nice. So I had time to think too. And I think my problem is that I have been wanting to make time to do somethings for myself lately and haven't really made it happen. So I've edged my way to bitterness and blame and frustration. Here's what I came up with.
-Practice the guitar every day or night for 10-15 minutes. Bring it out everyday so the kids can look at it and get used to it so they won't bombard me every time they see it.

-Pray everyday. I'm not talking about the little prayers said throughout the day for sanity or patience or a margarita delivery at my door :). I'm talking the kind where I can talk, and think, and really pray for my family and friends. I've felt this need and pull for awhile but just haven't made time.

So that's it. I'll keep you posted.


Renee said...

Good for you for getting some time for yourself. I need much of that myself, and I work outside the home!

Elissa said...

heather, have been following your blog for some time now. you are one of the reasons i started to do it myself. have loved following your little family as mine are around the same ages. just wanted to say that, even from across the entire country, i feel for you on stay-at-home mommy burnout days. thank you for being honest and open. makes me feel less crazy. and i wish i could get beyond praying for margarita deliveries too! wishing you success in your goals!

Amy Chionis said...

Yo! Park them babies over at my house and go pray. And maybe the creator will deliver a margarita when you pick them up. no - really-you have my dearest love and support as you look for ways to nurture yourself. And I am happy to watch kidlets if that helps.

Helen said...

Everyone needs a good time out..and often! -- especially an amazing supermom like yourself. I really admire you and everything you do and are for your family. And even more so that you know when to throw in the towel. I've missed that boat a few times..and it hasn't been pretty :)

Wendy said...

I can of course relate to everything you just said. Why do we feel guilty for being unable to work 24 hours a day? The curse of motherhood. I hope you enjoyed your little break. :) They say it gets easier. I will let you know if I get there.

jenica said...

this totally made me cry. i'm in the same spot. you and i both need some M.O.M. (moments of me)time. time to fill our buckets so that we can get back to filling up our children's buckets.

you are a supermama rockstar. don't give up.


jenica said...

i'm still thinking about this post... some of the best mama advice i've ever received was to make a point of praying three times a day: morning, noon, and night. adding in that sincere noon time prayer makes all the difference for our family, it centers us and brings the spirit back.

advice dually noted! i NEED this.

Marz said...

just now checking in! Gonna call you right now anyway. Oh, I know those days. KNOW them. You are a wonderful mom & person! I bet you have Saturday nite on your radar screen big time! Date nite!! woo hooo!!!

Beth said...

oh how we've all been there on that bathroom floor !!!

and oh how wonderful those husbands are who come and save us from ourselves...what a blessing they are !!!

now let's have that margarita !!

Kristi said...

I think we all have times like this. I know I have had many times where I just want to shut the world out. I wish I was closer to give you the break you need.

I want you to know though that I am continually amazed with all the wonderful things you do and how amazing you are as a wife and mom. I hope some day to be as great as you are in all you do.