Monday, March 15, 2010

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Stella and Rachael. How I love watching them together. There are no rules with them. If you turn your back they are living out their imagination. Somthering themselves with your best cream, or making it rain in the bedroom. Depression has been sitting heavy on me lately. The kind that makes me want to stay in bed, that makes me wander the house aimlessly. Except I can't. I have three kids who need me. I'm grateful for them. Sometimes I watch them and envy their freedom. They are walking energy bursts. Sometimes it's too much to watch as I struggle to breathe with this heavy heart. I want to stop them and steal some of it away, to hold them and absorb some of their joy and energy. I'll have to settle for their sweet hugs and pushing through and giving as much as I can to them, because I love them, and because they keep me going, and get me up out of bed, and make me see the good things in life.

2 comments:

Anonymous said...

Nice to "hear" from you again; I hope you're feeling better soon...

vickie said...

Feeling this pain with you at times...know that there are people out here that care about you! even though not met...i'll come here and wonder where has she been? and then i find that you are feeling things i feel often. you aren't alone...but i hope you can find the sun again soon!